What do you do about a cheating spouse who will not admit they are cheating?
May 2nd, 2010
suerone asked:
If someone is cheating on you and you have all the evidence from their smell, to their body language etc. plus the fact that you know the person so well you know they cheated.
Do you:
a) Confront them
b) Strategically get yourself together and leave without their knowledge.
c) Ignore the situation in hopes that it will change.
d) Other
Exlpain please

Hire a PI to get hard evidence like pictures. Smell and body language are not hard enough evidence to make a 100% accusation.
It would really depend on why I thought I knew cheating was going on. Smell isn’t a good enough indication. Body language can be misinterpreted…however, if I seriously thought (I cannot “know” without a confession or visual evidence of the cheating taking place) then I’d talk to him about it.
If he claims it wasn’t happening, then I’d get us into couples counseling to see where the disconnect was and why I thought something was going on that wasn’t. He have to explain all the “signs” I was seeing, and if anything was going on, it may well be revealed during this time. If he refused counseling then we might be looking at parting ways…
It really depends on the specific situation. I would not ignore signs I was seeing, but I also realize some people see signs that aren’t there, when they fear something will happen or is happening…even if it is not.
Well to be honest.. I would confront them
I mean, wud u rather live under suspicion for the rest of ur married life to them or just leave it at friends ?? I know marriage isnt a game and not something u can just go on and off at, but this is the person that vowed to look after for u for eternity…………………………………………………….
I would always confront them and listen to whatever lousy explanation they happen to make up. That way you have 2 reasons to leave. They cheat and they lie. I would attack each issue one at a time. Ask about the smell first. Then a week later, ask about the body language. Don’t hit them with it all at once.
“C” is out because cheaters never change. I know of no one who has cheated and stopped after they got caught. They might stop for a year or two, but the next time someone throws themselves at them, they’re right back at it again. If you can live with a cheater, then so be it. Personally, I never could.
“B” is just spiteful. If you’re going to leave someone, it’s just common decency to rub it in first and tell them why you’re leaving. It makes both of you better people. You because you keep your self respect and them because hopefully you’ve taught them a very valuable lesson that will make them better for the next love of their lives.
Hi you might have to get some pictures, like hire a P I they are not to expensive. Do not try to ingore it you will just get madder. When confronted if this is a man there are very defensive if this is a woman their eyes and body language will tell. Good luck! But please do not make a move if you do not have the funds to move, and be sure that is what you want to do. It is not healthy to leave and go back. If you go back the next time they will cheat harder and want care what you think cause they no you will come back.
i would try to catch him in the act. if he leave the house you should leave right behind him and follow him or have someone else standing by to follow him because if you don’t catch him he is just gonna deny it
Dear Suerone, He may have cheated on you,and you feel it down deep in your bones,but you have to have true evidence. Follow him somewhere,take a good camera with you,one that has a good zoom in lens. Don’t get to close when your following him,he might notice you. Wear and outfit he hasn’t seen you in just encase. Get a phone that uses tapes to record messages that might come in for him,if your living together.If he calls you and tells you he is going to be a little late,make note of the time he calls,and when he arrives back at home. Look for marks on his neck and other private places. Check through his clothes for phone numbers,are names on match books our small sheets of paper,check his wallet as well.You said that you have noticed a musty smell,like after sex smell,check to see if there is a perfume smell on his clothes as well that you do not use. In other words play detective for a while,if he is cheating on you,he will slip-up sooner are later believe me.And later on if you find out for sure that he has cheated on you,be prepared too leave his sorry ass in the dust with all of your evidence in hand,then take his ass too court,if your married.If not get on with your life,and know matter how much he begs you,don’t take him back.Good Luck,I hope everything works out for you,just be careful and don’t get caught. Always take someone with you,for protection and as a eye-witness.
I have gone through a cheating GF myself. Even without hard evidence intuition plays a very important role, not to be diminished. Trust your intuition.
There are 2 ways of confronting and it depends on his personality. You can confront with anger or first process the anger and then come smooth, ask, almost beg for sincerity. Likely more success will come from the latter.
To leave quietly only creates frustration and doesnt solve anything, you only will feel you didnt try enough.
To ignore the situation and hope it will change, well it wont help and the situation will not change.
Other… Have a nice prepared meeting, try a romantic encounter and then tell him you just need to put ALL the cards on the table. We men also need to learn our lessons and learn from mistakes. The ? is are we ready to learn or not? Is he ready?
Sense either his sincerity or his defensiveness and avoidance. That will give you the answer. Prepare yourself inside for the inevitable and most difficult, you may have to tell him that it is not enough for you. Tell him you will break up with him anyway but it will help to heal a lot if he comes straight, as an act of friendship.
Try your best to have him come sincere to you. If he doesnt that is your best answer… Good luck. This will be tough.
Ask him how would he talk to you if you cheated on him, and use his method. good luck
Well the best thing to do is have evidence me being a male and have cheated on people in the past. That’s the best thing a. confront them you can but the fact is that they are not going to tell the truth by my experience deny it until they find proof. Doing B it all depends on if you love them or not, if you think you are going to get married or anything like that. C is not a good option either cause you dont wont to be plaid at the same time especially if you know in your gut. D. find evidence and if all fails. Wake him up in the middle of the night do it like 5 days in a row. And stair at him and you want him to know your doing this it will freak him out. And just start acting a little more crazyer and what will happen is he will slip everybody does it. Trust me as well as your his women and if you stay together look threw his things plenty of old Lady’s have found things in the car and in pants pockets and suit pockets because it is not cold for a jacket doesn’t mean we dont store things there. I would say use these and good luck.
There’s only one thing that you need to do: smell his dick.
That’ll tell you everything that you need to know.
it’s only “cheating” if you are being deprived. if you’re still getting it, its “sharing”.